Breaking New Ground

A couple of weeks ago, I posted a picture from the middle of an intersection saying “stay  tuned for a blog.” Now, I’m making time to write the words that have been jumbled around in my head for several weeks. While I’ve only been in NYC for a month, I feel as if I’ve been here so much longer. Each day is filled with new and sometimes challenging adventures, and I am learning (slowly but surely) how to navigate a new city and adulthood.

SOMETHING NEW:

Everything is new. But instead of writing a novel on every little new thing, I’ll just keep it to a couple brief “new” updates. A couple of weeks ago, I started a new job as a host at Junior’s Cheesecake in Times Square! Although the restaurant industry is not a long-term goal/dream of mine, I do the work I have to do so that I can do the work I want/feel called to do. Working in the restaurant has been such a blessing though, even in the midst of the challenges because I am meeting new people and building relationships in a new context. I love hearing the stories of the people I work with – auditioning actors and musicians performing around the city whenever they can; college students finishing degrees in the arts or other areas who love living and studying in NYC. Even though tourists are pretty much the worst, working alongside such passionate people is inspiring.

SOMETHING LEARNED:

I’m really grateful for the lessons I have been learning in the past year or so, especially as they relate to finding stillness and rest. After I posted a picture of the sunrise over the city, as I stood in the middle of the street, I realized how important finding that quiet really was. I am learning what it means to cultivate rest in a busy city when it’s so counter-cultural. I thought I would never be able to identify the need for rest before I reached a breaking point, so not only is this a great learning point, but it feels like a big personal victory.

Another something I’ve learned/am continuing to learn is the culture of New York City. This place is unlike anywhere else I’ve ever lived. Even though my family frequents the city, there’s something so unique about living here. People think differently and live differently than what I am used to. Because of this cultural difference, I’m learning how to show the light of Jesus better and in my context. As I go through missionary training over the next 6 months, I’ll continue to learn how to approach my context in love and with grace and truth.

SOMETHING CHALLENGING:

In the midst of this challenging transition, the Lord has been teaching me so much about who He is and showing me more of His heart. For those of you who know me, you know transition is not an easy thing for me (is it or anyone?), and this transition has challenge me from every angle. The words of Hillsong’s “New Wine” have really stuck out to me recently:

In the crushing
In the pressing
You are making
New wine
In the soil, I
Now surrender
You are breaking
New ground
You are breaking
New ground

Make me Your vessel
Make me an offering
Make me whatever You want me to be
I came here with nothing
But all You have given me
Jesus, bring new wine out of me

I came to New York with close to nothing – no income and no apartment and no community – and I have had to be reliant on the Lord in ways I have never had to before. I feel the weight of the crushing and pressing as I learn to trust more and love big. In the spirit of full transparency, I am having a more difficult time trusting that the Lord will provide community than I am for finances/apartment/job/etc. I miss my IWU friends. I miss seeing friends who know me better than most on a daily basis. I miss the familiarity of campus life. In the midst of my anxiety and sadness, the Holy Spirit uses this song to remind me of His calling over me. It doesn’t make the sad emotions go away, but it gives me clarity of purpose all over again. Some day, I hope it gets easier.

SOMETHING(S) TO PRAY FOR:

• for Resurrection Life NYC as we prepare for the fall
• for the right apartment door to open – we’ve started the process of applying and are trusting the Lord to provide in His perfect timing
• for fundraising – pray for provision and patience as I eagerly await God’s provisions
• for moments of quiet
• for authentic and true community