One year ago today I made a hard, but necessary decision. One that has made me cry the most tears, stripped me down to the core, and brought me the most peace. I quit my job at school, which maybe doesn’t sound like much, but I found myself letting go of something that I had so tightly gripped. I let go of something I took pride in and found my identity in. You see, Jesus was calling me to obedience and surrender. He asked me to choose Him and let go of an identity in helping others and performance (which rocked me as an enneagram 2w3). Will Reagan & the United Pursuit have a song called “If I Give It All” that put words to what I was feeling in that season. The lyrics say:
If I give it all to you, will you make me new?
If I open up my hands, will you fill them again?
This week has been a week of major reflection for me as I look back on 22. I started my 22nd birthday by looking my staff in the eyes and explaining why I was resigning. I spent 22 learning to rest. I took 22 to rediscover my identity in Jesus, not in my helping. It was 22 that the Lord spoke to my heart about ministry and New York City.
One year ago, I was empty. I had just given up my all. Today, I can look back and see exactly how I am being made new and how I am being filled again. Here’s to another year of being made new.