Month: July 2019

/un/learn

discard (something learned, especially a bad habit or false or outdated information) from one’s memory.

This week, I had an emotional intelligence assessment debrief. If you’ve known me any length of time, you know how much I love self-assessments. It’s the most fun thing. During my debrief, we talked about my lowest sub-score – assertiveness. Which, let’s be honest, we all know is definitely true of me. Processing through my lack of assertiveness brought up lots of things I learned over the years about asserting myself. I learned to only bring bullet proof ideas to the table. Otherwise, I keep my mouth shut. No one necessarily used words to teach me that, but it was a lesson I learned nonetheless.

So I guess this is a new season of unlearning. Unlearning the lessons that hold me back and prevent me from being the best leader/person/woman God has created me to be.

As I continue to process and reflect on this past year, I see where God has been stretching me and teaching me to unlearn thought patterns and behaviors that are unhealthy or unloving. I’m being reminded that Genesis 1 comes before Genesis 3 (thankful for Deb’s constant reminders on this). I’m unlearning the culture I grew up in and relearning the culture I find myself in. And a lot more that I don’t have words for yet (maybe someday I will).

And it’s good. So stretching. But so good.

Even in my season of unlearning, I’m also finding myself STANDing stronger and more confidently in some of the things I’ve learned in the past. The culture around me has challenged me to dig deeper into the teachings of Jesus. Heck, even in the middle of transition and change (my FAV things), the lessons I’ve learned in the past are being reinforced in big ways. God doesn’t change. He remains faithful. He isn’t going to leave me or forsake me. And I’m more rooted than I’ve been before.

If you’re out there reading this experiencing the growing pains of unlearning lessons, I hope this is encouraging to you to know you’re not alone.

Here’s to letting Jesus gently reteach me and grow me in new ways.

One year ago today I moved to NYC with nothing more than a suitcase and an unpaid internship. I had no place to live, no reliable source of income, and no idea how I was going to make it. If I was going to make it. All I knew was that there was no denying that God asked me to make the move.

I was at coffee with a friend this morning and she asked about my story of moving here. As I started telling her the stories of living on people’s couches for 6 weeks and trying to find a job and an apartment, I realized how crazy I was then. I still can’t believe I did it. My friend called me brave. And that’s how I know God is working through my weakness. I was scared and anxious leading into moving to New York (and sometimes still am about living here), but in the midst of my fear God has shown His strength and faithfulness. He is making me braver than I could have imagined.

In the past year, I’ve moved into my first apartment with strangers who quickly became close friends. I started a job at a restaurant in Times Square. I led a youth group and hosted a life group for the first time. I learned more about the kinds of things I like to do, and those that I don’t. I’ve traveled to Boston, Chicago, Marion, Columbus, Orlando, Nashville, and Knoxville. I walked through Redeemer’s City to City apprenticeship program where I met other 20-somethings in ministry. I had my entire world rocked for the better by the Forge Residency program. And I’ve accepted a new job as Managing Director of Forge New York.

One year ago started the biggest transition of my life. I wouldn’t be who I am today with the experiences of this past year. As I enter into this new transition period – starting a new job, but in the same city – I’m holding on to the same promises of God’s faithfulness that He has shown me all year.

Friends, if you’re anything like me and are scared to take that next step that you feel God is calling you into, I promise it will be worth it. Take the step. Do it afraid. And He will make you brave.

Thanks, New York, for teaching me to STAND. You’re my favorite.