Today, I write from quarantine to my room. It’s only day 3 (maybe 4? The days are really blurring together) that we decided it would be best for me to self-isolate from the rest of the apartment after I began displaying some symptoms of COVID. While there’s no way to confirm for sure, it’s at the advice of a doctor to assume I have it, and treat accordingly.
Lucky for me, I have big windows in my room that overlook the street below. The tree right outside is blooming more and more with each day, and the sun shines in for several hours. I hear people walking around as they soak in the sun for a bit, kids laughing as they walk their dog, and cars passing by. Because it’s quieter here, I’ve even been able to hear the birds chirp. And I hear sirens. I can’t tell if it’s more frequent, or just more jarring due to the quietness around. Either way, my heart drops every time. This season is stirring anxiety, fear, and helplessness within me.
A dear friend of mine continues to share the words God has given her for this season – rest + receive. And I’m convicted by them, too. I feel these gentle nudges every time my mind starts overworking.
REST.
But all I want to do is anything to help someone. I want to be on the front lines of connection with friends & family.
REST.
But I want to accomplish something, anything, lots of things with all this free time I now have.
REST.
My body is tired, so I’ve been sleeping more. That’s rest, right?
REST.
I’m running around crazy (metaphorically of course), when I know that rest comes when I sit still.
When I disconnect.
When I let go of control.
When I quiet myself before the One who promises to give us rest when we come to Him.
RECIEVE.
But I want to give everything I have to serve my friends and neighbors. I don’t know how to accept gifts or words.
RECEIVE.
But I don’t know how to even ask for what I need.
RECEIVE.
I have to receive strength that comes from the One who renews me, the One who restores and refreshes my soul.
I’m learning to say “thank you” instead of “no, you don’t have to!”
My prayer is that maybe, like me, there are some people who just need to know that they are not alone. You are not worth any less because you need to rest, in body or mind. Sometimes, being a blessing to others means receiving their blessing. If you need permission to receive, here it is.
May the God of strength and peace give us the grace to rest in His presence and receive His gifts this week.