Practicing gratitude is hard.
Maybe it’s not for you, but it has been for me.
Practicing gratitude is hard, when it feels like we’ve lost. When we’re balancing new rhythms and practices that change regularly. When your social media feed makes you want to delete all accounts forever. It all looks ugly and cold and hard. So where’s the good in that?
About a month ago, I felt convicted to start practicing gratitude again. I used to make a list every week when I bullet journaled, but hadn’t reincorporated this into my life regularly since then. And with everything digital, I decided to track this on my Instagram. I want to be reminded of the moments of hope and beauty in my week, so tracking through pictures feels like the most appropriate form in this season.
Here’s what I’m learning in this.
When I post the pictures of things that are good in my week, others sometimes see that my life must be good all the time. But it’s not. In fact, sometimes it’s a STRUGGLE to find anything good to say about things. So I’m learning to be honest in my representation of the week by starting with a note to the viewer, saying that it hasn’t been easy but here’s a few of the good.
I wish we’d stop comparing ourselves to other people. I find myself thinking “it’d be easier if I lived in the suburbs or a different city, where everything is easier and rent is less,” way more often than not these days. I’m having to remind myself that there are challenges everywhere, even in the ‘burbs. And that I am choosing to be here, with a clear understanding of the harder parts.
I talked with an old friend (I love that I can say this now, because 12 years of friendship definitely allows for that!!) this week who encouraged me in this practice. She reminded me of another thing I’m learning in this: to hold space for both the good and the bad, the beauty and the pain. I love what Ann Voskamp says:
“The practice of giving thanks…eucharisteo…this is the way we practice the presence of God, stay present to His presence, and it is always a practice of the eyes. We don’t have to change what we see. Only the way we see.”
At the end of the week, I spend time during my Sabbath, practicing gratitude – reflecting on the presence of God in my week. And you know what? I find glimmers of joy and hope and peace in the midst of chaos.
The current realities of life are hard, but God is still infinitely good. He is still with me. He is not cruel, and he does not cause suffering. My perspective often needs transformed, and there is grace upon grace in the learning.
I love what Hebrews 12:28 says: “Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe,”
There is a kingdom that cannot be shaken. Not by coronavirus. Not by the United States’ political tension. Not by the injustices around us. The Kingdom of Heaven is unshakeable. God’s already at work redeeming all things to Himself. There we find beauty and joy and hope. I need this reminder regularly. And practicing a gratitude list is helping me keep my eyes on what matters most.
Maybe you’re like me, and need this too. It’s been amazing to see how many people are with me in hard weeks, and to feel less isolated in the middle of it. You are not alone in feeling bogged down by the weight of things. And who knows, maybe something as small as a gratitude list will give you a moment of hope this week.
May our eyes be opened to the beauty around us this week. May we not miss the glimmers of hope amidst the chaos of things. May we invite Love in, and see with His eyes.