“Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.”
Romans 12:9-16
Loving people is not easy.
Accepting love from others is not easy.
Loving people through the junk is not easy.
Love is not easy.
If you’ve read any of my recent blogs, you may be picking up that this season of obedience is not exactly a walk in the park. The Lord is continuing to stretch me and grow me in ways that I could not have imagined for myself. And yet, this season is exactly what the previous ones have prepared me for. As I’ve been reflecting on where I am and where I am going, I am starting to see where God used circumstances and people and challenges to prepare me for the here and now.
I read a quote this week by Tim Keller that has stayed close to my heart. He writes,
“To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything. It liberates us from pretense, humbles us out of our self-righteousness, and fortifies us for any difficulty life can throw at us.”
When people love us based on the shallowness of their knowledge of us, it doesn’t feel real. “If they only knew _________, they wouldn’t love me anymore.” Vulnerability is a steady theme of this season. We can be so paralyzed by the fear of being known and not loved that we choose to build more walls and push more people out. People hurt us, and they don’t always love well. They break our trust and wound our hearts. We hurt people and sometimes don’t love them well. We break their trust and wound their hearts. Instead of dealing with the heartache, we become professional wall builders. And our walls become so carefully constructed, that we may even give people the impression that they know us, but upon reflection, they do not (I’m pointing at myself here).
But how can we get to the place of learning to fully know and truly love?
I definitely do not have the answers and I am constantly seeking the Lord to know how to do this well. I fear letting people down and not loving enough. I want to be perfect in this area, but I’m a flawed human being who has messed up and will continue to mess up. As I learn to love well as I know more about a person, I see how crucial it is to trust God with that person. When I lay down my sweet friends at the foot of Jesus, I am loving them well. When I ask the Holy Spirit for the strength to be present at 1:30am, I am loving them well. When I am consistent in my presence, I am loving them well. When I take care of my own needs, I am loving them well. I cannot love well on my own strength and I am humbled by this truth every single day.
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again – I want to be a safe place for people to be who they are. Someone who gives people the freedom to let down their walls and not be afraid that I will love them less. I want to learn to truly love like Christ loves.
Thank you Jesus for loving me well and continually teaching me how to love others.