I’m surrounded by put together people. People who don’t let any hints of authentic humanity sneak out out for fear of how others will respond. I see people putting on their best Christian mask, showing others that their lives are in order. I see masks to cover the realities of past and current hurts and burdens because if someone else sees those, they might quit being a friend.
I wish I was never one of them. But sometimes I am.
As I enter into this interesting and new season of my life, this lesson in vulnerability continues to challenge me. I encourage my residents and my friends to be vulnerable and authentic with me, but rarely do I want to be vulnerable to them. It’s so much easier to distract myself from my own struggles and hurts by focusing on the other person.
I was eating dinner with a new friend this week and we talked about the way that vulnerability shows up. Someone once explained it to me as a house. When we invite people in, we host them in our nice and clean living rooms and show them the spotless kitchens because we spent time cleaning up for them. The more comfortable we get with a person, the more parts of our house we show them. Very few get to see our junky basements – the places and spaces where we hide the hurts and the burdens. And sometimes, we find ourselves so stuck in our basement, that we can’t help but letting people down, because we can’t bring ourselves out.
There’s power in presence.
Presence doesn’t happen naturally. It takes work and costs us something.
“Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”
Philippians 2:1-4
On Monday in chapel (BIBLE MONDAY!), the speaker touched on loving others and suffering with them. But this can’t come from our own strength – we have the free gift of grace from Jesus to suffer with. We are called to humbly value others over ourselves. The Holy Spirit sustains us and guides us and reveals His presence through our presence with others.
I want to be someone who is known for her presence. I want to be a light in the darkest of basements so that others may see Him, not me. But this doesn’t happen overnight. Boundaries have to be learned. Self-care is important, too. And I’m not perfect. I won’t be perfect at this, but I am called to presence. We are called to presence.
There’s power in presence.